prayer coach

original image courtesy of Paul Martinez

Christians can be good at making laziness sound spiritual. Have you ever heard these statements?

• “I’m waiting on the Lord.”
• “I’m learning to rest.”
• “I don’t want to get ahead of God.”

These statements are meant to end the conversation. They are not meant for debate. How do you counter what someone feels that God have told them in their personal times with Him. But, are they really from God or just excuses.

Excuses make us feel better about ourselves when we know that there must be more there we are not experiencing.

What is Christian rest?

For the Israelites rest was the promised land (Joshua 1:13). The ones that came out of Egypt were not allowed to enter the rest due to disobedience (Psalm 95:8-11). Two-thirds of the tribes of Israel were given their rest (land), and had to help fight for the other’s rest (Joshua 1:14-15). Rest was not a lazy activity. It had to be fought for and was only attained be the promise of God.

Rest is also God’s presence for the promise of the Gospel is invitation to enter God’s presence (1 John 3:19, Psalm 62:1, Psalm 91:1, Hebrews 4:16, Exodus 33:14). This is the secret of not getting ahead of God. When His presence moves, we move. When it tarries, we set up camp (Numbers 9:15-23). But in order to do this, we must keep a watchful eye on His presence.

Passivity is not a fruit of the Spirit. Is is not a synonym for patience. It is a deadening of your heart. It’s a sign of giving up or not caring.

I’m passive about golf, American Idol, and Greece entering the Euro zone. However, I am passionate about marriage, family, God’s love, and God’s view of business.

images courtesy of Getty images

Christians are not new to professional athletics, but with first Tebow and now Lin, you would get the impression that this is a new trend. Still Tim Tebow and Jeremy Lin are similar in how they came in mid-stream and provided a needed spark to their respective teams. Both have weaknesses in their games that cause people to doubt them – passing for Tebow and turnovers for Lin. Ultimately, it is their quick thanksgiving to God for their opportunities that have linked the two together.

With the recent explosion of Jeremy Lin just after Tim Tebow’s rise a couple months ago, I have started wondering what God is up to. Is he media playing these two’s stories up because they know it will sell? Or is God trying to get our attention?

Since God is always trying to get our attention, I will choose that is what is going on here too. Therefore, what is God trying to say? Here is a list of possibilities:

1. Confidence is not pride. Both of these men are good at what they do. Tebow met with fans before each game using his platform to bless others. Lin has just started to shine, but he easily dishes out praise to his teammates building up the people around him. Pride is all about what you can get for yourself. Confidence is knowing what you have to strengthen those around you.
• Christians have too often been afraid of confidence for fear of being prideful.
2. Your biggest limitation is how you view yourself. Both have been criticized for what they lacked. Both had been overlooked in their positions. And yet, both prevailed when given the opportunity. They didn’t let the views of others hold them back. They believed in themselves and were ready when the time came.

Heart image courtesy of Skitch

This may not be an encouraging title for a Valentine’s Day post, but unfortunately this is a common query people use to come to the blog. Love is made to be lasting, and while your love may still be on, at times the person of our affection stops returning our love. How can we move on?

We were created for love, and for some for some that is a wonderful encouragement. It gives you hope for a satisfying and lasting love with another. For others the idea of love is filled with a painful mixture of a few happy moments and powerfully hurtful ones. While the other person has seemingly moved on, you are stuck with some strange connection to this person who has called you so much pain. You only hope is the cry, “God, please remove them from my heart.”

Listen to God’s words to you. That person was never supposed to fill your needs for love. I am the One who created you for love so that I may be the One who would satisfy your longings. Come to Me. My arms are open to receive you. Lay your head on My chest and pour out your heart. Tears open you up for the healing. Cry for the disappointment and loss, but not for despair for I give you hope. Freedom is coming. My love is on.

Freedom is found similarly to forgiveness. Here are some simple steps to help you find your freedom.

1. Confess how you have placed too much of your heart on the other person. Confess how you have trusted them over God.
2. Thank God for His forgiveness. It is already there for you. Receive it through giving thanks.

image courtesy of Adam Jones

The book of Genesis tells of two drastically different men: one who had to work hard to get anything he wanted; the other seemed to have things fall into his lap. It is interesting that the former was father of the latter. More interestingly, how do we become like the latter?

These two men were Jacob and Joseph. Jacob is well known as being a striver. He connives his brother out of his birthright and cons hims out of his blessing. He runs away for fear of him and then gets conned into working 14 years for Rachel. The tragedy of Jacob’s life is more than the difficulties that arise, you get the impression from Jacob that he feels alone in the world. Even when he left working for his father-in-law, he leaves under deception.

Joseph, on the other hand, had much greater difficulties arise against him. The tragedy that befalls Joseph may make some balk at my earlier statement of having things fall into his lap. However, no matter what hardships arose, Joseph met each of them with success.

What I noticed about these two men that was significantly different was the way that each of them was raised. Jacob was raised by Isaac who favored Esau over him. Joseph was raised by Jacob who favored him above each of his 11 brothers. Joseph knew the love of his father, which brought special attention, favors, and gifts. Jacob felt overlooked by his father and had to trick him to get attention, favors, and gifts.

• A vacant chamber of prayer means that a believer has gone out of business religiously.
• Don’t ask someone who has a history of being negative for advice about your step of faith that doesn’t make sense.
• Faith thrives in an atmosphere of prayer.
• Painstaking care, much thought, practice and labour are required to be a skillful tradesman in praying.
• Prayer honors God, acknowledges His being, exalts His power, adores His providence, secures His aid.
• Prayer is a trade to be learned. We must be apprentices and serve our time at it.
• Pride infects all our prayers, no matter how well worded they may be.
• The life of the individual believer, his personal salvation, and personal Christian graces have their being, bloom, and fruitage in prayer.
• The more praying there is in the world, the better the world will be; the mightier the forces against evil everywhere.
• Trouble and prayer are closely related. Trouble often drives men to God in prayer, while prayer is but the voice of men in trouble.
• Units of prayer combined, like drops of water, make an ocean which defies resistance.
• We can never know God as it is our privilege to know Him by brief repetitions that are requests for personal favors, and nothing more.
• We press our pleas because we must have them, or die.
• We repeat, not to count the times, but to gain the prayer.
• “The world needs more true praying to save it from the reign and ruin of Satan.”
• “Those who know God the best are the richest and most powerful in prayer. Little acquaintance with God, and strangeness and coldness to Him, make prayer a rare and feeble thing.”

This video may well be old for many people, but this a celebration event that Oprah Winfrey put on for African-American women in 2005. She desired to honor the lives of those who have paved a way for others to come behind. Honor was given, love was displayed, and then in the words of Oprah herself, “Jesus showed up.”

Bebe Winans took the stage pulled in legendary singers from the crowd to piece together a wonderful menagerie of praise. “Not one note was planned or rehearsed,” but the effect was felt by all that was there. Diane Sawyer said, “For the rest of my life I think that may be the most transcendently spiritual moment I’ve ever been part of.”

Sometimes as believers we are so caught up in trying to convince people of the Gospel that we forget to give people a chance to experience Jesus for themselves. It is possible that not one person there placed their faith in Jesus that day, but all of them there had an opportunity to experience Jesus that will contradict any negative feelings they have ever encountered with Christians.

I love this video, and I hope you are encouraged by it.

• “Like” the Prayer Coach Facebook page to keep up with latest posts and to submit your own prayer requests.

image courtesy of interrobang

How long do you have to confess and feel the guilt of your sin before you feel accepted? We all know this feeling of uncleanliness before the Lord. It’s that “yuck” feeling that’s a mixture of shame and disgust. We instinctively feel that we need to get ourselves right before we can go to God in prayer. Is this from God? If it is, when are we ready to appear before Him?

I was thinking this the other day in regards to the way approach sharing our faith. Too much of it comes across as stop sinning so that God can love you. It’s like God’s holiness keeps his affection for us in check. As if is in heaven God saying if I can just clean this person up there is someone in there I can love.

Sin still has a powerful effect in the world, but we have mis-applied where the issue belongs. When we sin it makes us feel separated from God because we no longer live up to His holiness. Our separation causes us to either hide our mess or ourselves from God. Although we may feel this way, when we sin God does not see it on those of us hidden in Christ. The wages of that sin has been paid.

Allow people to come to Jesus. The cross is more than sufficient for anything they bring with them. He knows if they are sleeping around, stealing from their company, or looking at porn. That doesn’t stop Him from loving them.

As parents we send our kids to their room when they’re bad because we believe that sin requires separation. That is not true. Sin causes separation. Our kids feel it when they are aware of doing something wrong. They hide. They look down. The become unsure. Our goal as parents is to bring them back into fellowship. Our goal in witnessing is to bring people back into fellowship with God.

Most of us if we are honest with ourselves, know that we are lacking in love. We may have the ability to love those who love us, but somewhere between that and our enemies we falter. This is not to discourage us, but just to show us we need supernatural help to fulfill what God has asked of us. We need God’s assistance to be able to love.

How do we pray for love?

The first thing to remember is that we love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19). Any trouble we have in loving is directly tied to a lack of experience with God’s love for us.

• God open my heart to receive more love from you. Make me aware of what may be blocking my ability to receive from you.

The second thing to help you is to know that fear is the opposite of love (1 John 4:18). Your inability to love is directly related to an area of fear in your life. Are you afraid that person will hurt you, take too much of your time, or make you be someone you are not? Or, are you afraid that God will not take care of you?

image courtesy of Passion

Anyone can have faith when things are going well. The Christian community has just finished all of their Christmas/Winter/New Year conferences where thousands of believers joined together to worship and encourage one another. Hope was distilled and people send home flying high what God can do through them. Now many are back home and are struggling how to put feet to the declarations they made just a few days ago.

Life gets tough. Your past will try to pull you back into your former lifestyle. None of this discounts conferences because they can be wonderful life-changing experiences. However, how do you remember what God has taught you later when you need it? How can you remember that excitement for the Lord in your everyday life? Even more, how do you remind yourself of God’s goodness when you are really struggling?

The best answer is relationships! You were not created to be alone. You were not even created to only you and Jesus. You need the body. Adam had the perfect setup-he got to stroll the garden walking with God. Even so, God said it wasn’t good for him not to have another human around. You need people.

David when he was running away from Saul got severely depressed. You can read some of the Psalms and see his struggles. On one particular occasion, Jonathon went and found him to help David find his strength in the Lord. he reminded David of the promises of God toward him, and he reminded David of his own commitment to David (1 Samuel 23:15-18).

You need people in your life that will keep pointing out to you what God thinks of you and will keep affirming their commitment to you. Let us continue to encourage each other daily (Hebrew 10:24-25). Speak life in each other.

image courtesy of Aaron Tesauro

While it can be very scary, transition is so good. Transition breaks you into a new level of trust. It allows you to dream what your life can be like. Transition brings life to your soul and spirit.

Transition makes you stare your beliefs in the face. Do you really believe that God will lead me? Do I believe that where He will lead me is somewhere I want to go? Can I trust that He loves me enough to not forget about me?

“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:3-5

In reality transition is no different than suffering. Transition brings pain. You have to learn new ways of doing things. You often have to learn to work with new people. But, because you have God, you hold on to the belief that God has something good (Romans 8:28). James expounds on Paul’s thoughts by showing the steps from suffering to perseverance.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” – James 1:2-4

Faith is to be tested if you want to attain to perseverance, character, and hope. The testing period is not God’s displeasure on you or Him giving you the cold shoulder. God is always thinking of you. He’s always planning good things for you. He loves you.

image source unknown

If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid. – Epictetus

What a great description of the examples the Bible gives us of people of faith. Noah built a large boat that he was going to collect some of every animal inside during a forthcoming flood. When will the flood happen? How will he get all of the animals inside? The Bible doesn’t say if he knew, but he steadily worked on it for 100 years. Moses leaves the sheep and family to rescue a million slaves from the most powerful nation of his world. Why do we give him a hard time for questioning God? Joshua takes over command after the highly successful Moses to conquer the Promised Land. For his first battle plan after crossing the Jordan was to circumcise every male. Let’s immobilize the army a stone’s throw from the enemy. Couldn’t this have been done in the safety of the desert?

These types of actions are not limited to the Old Testament. Jesus waits for Lazarus to die before going to check on him. Jesus also kept talking about his death when everyone wanted to crown him king. Is this the kind of life we are expected to live?

My prayer is that the way you live your life makes zero sense to unbelievers and encourages fellow Christians to step out in faith. – Francis Chan

For me this is more than some wise sounding words. I also try to follow them. We serve a God who tells us that His ways are not like our ways. Therefore our lifestyle cannot always make sense to natural thinking.

Dear Readers of the Prayer Coach Blog,

I decided to do a Top 10 List this year to satisfy my interest and help those new to Prayer Coach find articles they may not have known existed. This list has been compiled by looking at pageviews on posts for this year. I also took into account Facebook likes and Twitter shares (please share any post you like on your social network).

1. 10 Things to Pray for Soldiers

This post had immediate success. It was shared on the Christian Prayer Center and shared by its fans to 1,700 Facebook accounts. This holiday season is good time to pray more for these wonderful men and women in the service; many of whom are away from their families at this time.

2. Prayer Quotes

It was really hard to pull this part together because if I took them all separately, they would have most of the top ten. These great resources are continually being found on search engines and used by many. To see a complete list of prayer quotes, go to our prayer resource page.

Here are the list of authors that filled out the top quote pages: A.W. Tozer, Bill Bright, Francis Chan, and E.M. Bounds. It was interesting that Dr. Bright’s quotes were shared heavily on the Stumble Upon network. Each share through any of the social networks is helpful for this site.

Two other quote pages that made the top list are 70 Quotes on what “Prayer Is” and If God is For Us…

3. 6 Steps to Deal with Grief

I personally love this post as it speaks to things that are important to me. Glad to see others seem to be liking it too. This post is not to insinuate that it is grief is quick and easy to process through, but there are some steps to help give direction through the process.

image courtesy of Urban Outfitters

My birthday and Christmas have always been hard times for me. Even as a kid I would approach these days with excitement only to feel overwhelmed with sadness on those days. This year on my birthday was no different; I had some fun plans made and my wife and kids who were excited to celebrate with me. Still one thing didn’t go as planned and I had a hard time bouncing back. What is it about these days that make it so hard for me?

Many people have noticed this phenomenon called holiday depression, and while I have seen some good advice to how to cope, there was not much on why it exists other than the stress of the season. Although I do believe that can play into it, I don’t believe that has been what I have experienced. And without knowing why you’re feeling down, you will have a hard time coming out of it.

For me, the issue lies in that I think this time of year will validate me somehow. During this time of thinking of others, someone will think about me in such a way that I will feel significant and valued. It is reminiscent of Charlie Brown hoping to get a Valentine’s Day card. He spends all year thinking nobody likes him, and on Valentine’s Day he thinks that it will all change by receiving a card from the little red haired girl.

Do I spend all year thinking that I am unimportant and have little value? As a kid I definitely felt this way. I’ve gotten better, but there is still times this feels true. I struggle with feeling like I don’t belong. Christmas is a time for family, which validates your belonging. Here are some questions to help you get to the root of your Christmas depression:

“I am powerful, and what I believe changes the world!
So today I declare:
God is in a good mood.
He loves me all the time.
Nothing can separate me from His love.
Jesus’ blood paid for everything
I will tell nations of what He has done.
I am important.
How He made me is amazing.
I was designed for worship.
My mouth establishes praise to silence the enemy.
Everywhere I go becomes a perfect health zone.
And… with God
Nothing is impossible!”

Throughout the centuries the Church has been practicing corporate readings as a part of worship. Nowadays apart from corporate singing, this practice has waned.  Recenlty I found that my daughter has been reciting the above creed during her children’s church, and I couldn’t be happier. She is being trained to believe things about herself and God that is opposite to what I believed about myself as I grew up.

I grew up without much direction into who I was. I remember words that I was embarrassment and that I never do anything helpful. There were also circumstances that I didn’t know how to interpret, which spoke words that I was messed up, that I was unimportant, and that I was a burden. O, how imporant are the words that we say of ourselves. (My parents were not bad. I’ve made some poor choices in my words to my kids as well. The point is that words are powerful.)

God spoke creation into being. And having been made in His image our words create new realities. If we speak words that are in agreement with our enemy, then we create greater bondages for ourselves. I still have to work at releasing myself to enjoy things for fear that I may be an embarrassment to someone. I know successful people that are still trying to overcome statements of being stupid or being a failure. Our words create our realities.

Presentation in the Temple by Lodovico Carracci

Kids young and old are currently finishing up their Christmas lists. Growing up, I would look through the big catalogs and circle things I wanted. It would end up being a giant wishlist which rarely included things I REALLY wanted. Now that I’m older, the list is shrinking. This year I would like three things: an iPad, a trip to Italy, and my house paid off.

What is it you really want to get this Christmas? Is it merely a passing whim or a strong desire? What are you actively seeking out? I believe God is looking for people who know what they want.

The Christmas story tells of at least two such people—Simeon and Anna (Luke 2:22-40). They gave themselves to God. Simeon held to the promise of seeing the Messiah before dying, and Anna worshiped the Lord night and day, fasting and praying for close to 60 years. God honored these two by allowing them to see the baby Jesus and gave them as examples to us.

In this world there are many things that can call for your attention. Most of them have no inherant evil. Simeon and Anna made a conscious decision to deny some acceptable choices in order to go after the one thing they really wanted. I believe God is desiring the same from us.

While the desire for Jesus is commendable, 24/7 prayer vigils is not God’s call for everyone. What are the passions God has put on your heart? Do you want to help boys to grow into manhood? Women free of fear? Communities transformed? New businesses created? Find your desire and pursue it. Pray about it. Listen for God’s heart about it. Research it. Find people of with similar interests. And, take steps to see it fulfilled.

In my last post in What to Pray to Find the Right Spouse, I mentioned that there were two ways to get the perfect spouse: find the right person and allow them to become the right person. This post will tackle the second option.

When I got engaged, I loved my wife as best as I knew, but as I look back I think the major motivation was to find someone who made me feel loved. I had a deep hole and I latched on to the person that made even a small effort to fill it. I can see now how I set myself up for major issues in marriage, therefore I am constantly encouraged by the wife God did give me.

However, there have been several things I had done right after the wedding vows. Early on in our marriage we started the habit of praying together every night before going to bed. I also prayed on my own for our marriage, specifically that our marriage would reflect Christ’s love for His Church. We attended marriage conferences and read marriage books to give priority to getting all that God had for us out of our marriage. Therefore while my motives may not have been pure going in, we developed our marriage well. Here are some areas for your to consider as you develop your own marriage.

7 Ways to Develop a Perfect Spouse

1. Prayer

Spending time with God with your spouse and alone is the greatest thing you can do for your marriage. God delights in your marriage and offers help to make sure you experience every blessing He has hidden there. Commit your marriage to God.

I am often amazed how I seemingly lucked out in marriage. The things I most appreciate in my wife; I had no idea to look for them while I was dating. I knew I wanted a wife who would love Jesus, but I didn’t count on me getting a rockstar. Yes, I wanted a wife I thought was pretty, but I didn’t know she would keep getting prettier each year. When I think about it, I know that God set me up to get more than I could even ask or imagine. How did this happen?

I think there are two reasons: 1. Find the right person. 2. Allow them to become the right person. I will address these as two separate posts.

How do you find the right person?

There is no guarantee that you will ever make a right pick. This keeps many people from even wanting to get married. The real thing to keep in mind with regards to marriage is to trust God in the process. He created marriage and intends it to be a blessing to you. Marriage can be the most wonderful thing you ever do, but you will have to work at it. So, before even getting started, here are some things to pray through in order to find the right spouse.

1. Lord, help me to know myself and live out of who you created me to be.

This should be your first prayer because you cannot truly be one with your spouse if you are not living from who you are. Choose not to trick someone into liking you be becoming someone different than yourself. That’s a recipe for disaster. You want to find someone who loves you for who you are, and you can’t find that person if you are not willing to be yourself. Trust what God says about you. “All My works are wonderful!” You are amazing, and as people get to know the real you, you will find that one person choose to focus on your amazing qualities.

God wants so much more for you than merely freedom from sin. All sin is just symptoms of deeper issues going on. Even if you are able to contain the act, some other sin will pop up in another area of your life if the heart is not addressed. That is why you see alcoholics trading alcohol for anger or overeaters trading food for exercise. If the heart is not healed, you will find new ways to soothe the pain.

Maturity is not measured by outward expressions or overcoming sin. Maturity in the Lord happens in the heart. Remember God’s rebuke to Samuel:

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” – 1 Samuel 16:7

Focusing on the sin also hinders you from celebrating the successes you do have. Thankfulness cannot happen if you are too focused on what you don’t have.

Try to imagine building a house. You clear the ground, grade it, dig the footers, pour the foundation, and start making good progress. Then comes the framing. In the early days of construction things move very quickly and progress is easily seen. After the outside is in place, work goes on within the walls and each step is not as visible. You get the wiring done and the insulation put up. The steps are no longer drastic and you start to long for the finished product. But, each step is necessary. If you don’t get the flashing put around the windows you would have high energy bills and water damage, but flashing does not appear to be progress.

• Don’t plan with what is in your pocket; plan with what is in God’s pocket.
• Faith is a kind of immune system filtering out fears that otherwise would paralyze all activity.
• Faith is a leap into the light, not a step into the darkness.
• Faith is not presumption but assumption. You rightly assume that God will never let you down—and thus “enter into rest.”
• Faith is not the absence of fear; it is its conquest.
• Faith is the vital principle of prayer.
• Faith removes the mountains which unbelief creates.
• Go for the purposes of God, and the means to fulfill them will follow.
• God always hears prayer. He cannot make it obvious, but He hears every time we move our lips.
• God always works with workers and moves with movers, but He does not sit with sitters.
• God answers prayer. For every deadline He will throw you a lifeline. Keep believing and be blessed!
• God has a thousand-year calendar with only one day marked on it.  It is marked TODAY.
• I don’t want to play with marbles … when God told me to move mountains!
• Jesus showed us how he lived as the Son of Man so that we would know how to live as the children of God.
• Prayer is faith in action.
• Praying for God to work is fine, but praying for Him to do what we should be doing is pointless.
• The Bible knows nothing about air in a jar, only wind in motion.  It knows nothing about the Holy Spirit except in action, in manifestation.
• The difficulty is not in knowing His will but doing it.

Last week my only brother unexpectedly went to be with the Lord. This has obviously been a shock to the family as we have tried to make sense of it all. Last Friday was the memorial and funeral services, which I had the opportunity to share some of my thoughts about Scott and the effects on the family. This will be very personal, but I think they are appropriate to share here because it may help others that have lost loved ones.

Scott is an amazing man. His playful spirit camouflaged his intelligence. If you only knew him as a teammate or “Mr. Scott” or “Eating Bear”, you may have easily missed this, but he is very smart. He could do many math equations quickly in his head. He excelled and traveled with a specialized technical company. He may be Pooh Bear personified, but he is smarter than the average bear (if I can mix metaphors).

Scott is also full of fun. Everything is a game to him. Sometimes to an extreme which embarrasses those he is with. Growing up we would go to concerts, and while waiting for it to begin Scott would get the crowd to chant. For instance, “God is good.” “All the time.” “All the time.” “God is good.” The amazing thing to me was not so much he would do this, but that people would respond. But this is Scott.

Even so, the one thing I absolutely admire about him is that he never met a person he didn’t like, and he never kept himself from anyone. Even in high school while most people are worried about what it may look like if you are scene with certain people. Scott was never “too cool”. Now, I consider myself a kind person, but there are times and people that I will quietly pull away from. I’m not proud of this, but I am aware of it. I never saw this with Scott. He loves everyone and in response everyone loves Scott. They have to. Everybody loves Pooh Bear.