prayer coach

Every Christian seems to have their technique for keeping from sin. We have to—if we are trying to follow God, we will be aware of our sin. It must be dealt with.

The Easter season makes this more prevalent because of the so many participating in the tradition of fasting things for Lent. This is wonderful tradition to prepare us for the Easter celebration.

Some of the tools Christians use for motivation not to sin are the following:

• Accountability: If I sin, I’ll have to tell someone what I have done.
• Consequences: If I sin, I’ll do something. This may be 100 pushups, give someone money to pay “the fine,” run an extra mile, etc.
• Think It Over: If I sin, I’ll go contemplate how bad that decision was, how it made God feel, and how bad I feel afterwards.
• Guilt: If I sin, I’ll sit in guilt.
• Shame: If I sin, I’ll beat myself up. Sin is bad, and if I sin I must be bad.
• Ignore It: If I sin, I’ll quickly move on. That’s not who I am. Plus, I am forgiven already.
• Sense of Value: I am too good to sin.

I have heard each of these options from preachers over the years, and not all of them are bad ideas. Very rarely have I heard how God motivates us not to sin.

God’s main motivation is love. It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Jesus said if you love me, you will do what I have commanded (John 14:15). Find out what pleases the Lord and have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of the flesh (Ephesians 5:1-13). We are not to beat ourselves up over our sins. We are not even to focus on how bad it makes God feel when we sin. Sin has been dealt with. Our motivation for not sinning is an expression of love to the One who loves us. When Jesus comes to Peter after his denial, Jesus gets Peter to focus on his love. “Do you love me?”  (John 21:15-17)

David started out with great passion but in the end of his life, he allowed trauma to shock him into passivity. We all need to come out of passivity and speak life into our world.

For forty days the Israelites were kept in a prison of fear through the taunts of Goliath. One thing that is missed in this story is that the Israelites remained in fear because Saul offered no encouragement to their situation. His inaction led to a bubble of fear over his troops. David comes on the scene and bursts that bubble by speaking hope.

Some fifty years later one of David’s sons rapes one of his daughters. This sets up hatred between two brothers to the point one kills the other. The murderer flees to his mother’s hometown and hides for three years. Both the rape and the murder makes David mad and sad, but there is no record of him doing anything. His silence allowed things to fester. David’s children are left to figure out life on their own.

Joab wakes David from his slumber to go retrieve his son from excile. However David does not allow this son, Absalom, to see him. Left on his own, Absalom goes down the path of attempting to take the kingdom from his father. How much of this could have been avoided if only David engaged in their lives?

Avoidance does not make our problems go away. We only delay the inevitable and often make the confrontation larger because of the passage of time. God gave us the Comforter because His plan was to call us places where we would have to deal with things that were uncomfortable to us. If we are more than conquerers than we need to be in some kind of battle.

original image courtesy of Paul Martinez

Christians can be good at making laziness sound spiritual. Have you ever heard these statements?

• “I’m waiting on the Lord.”
• “I’m learning to rest.”
• “I don’t want to get ahead of God.”

These statements are meant to end the conversation. They are not meant for debate. How do you counter what someone feels that God have told them in their personal times with Him. But, are they really from God or just excuses.

Excuses make us feel better about ourselves when we know that there must be more there we are not experiencing.

What is Christian rest?

For the Israelites rest was the promised land (Joshua 1:13). The ones that came out of Egypt were not allowed to enter the rest due to disobedience (Psalm 95:8-11). Two-thirds of the tribes of Israel were given their rest (land), and had to help fight for the other’s rest (Joshua 1:14-15). Rest was not a lazy activity. It had to be fought for and was only attained be the promise of God.

Rest is also God’s presence—for the promise of the Gospel is an invitation to enter God’s presence (1 John 3:19, Psalm 62:1, Psalm 91:1, Hebrews 4:16, Exodus 33:14). This is the secret of not getting ahead of God. When His presence moves, we move. When it tarries, we set up camp (Numbers 9:15-23). But in order to do this, we must keep a watchful eye on His presence.

Passivity is not a fruit of the Spirit. It is not a synonym for patience. It is a deadening of your heart. It’s a sign of giving up or not caring.

I’m passive about golf, American Idol, and Greece entering the Euro zone. However, I am passionate about marriage, family, God’s love, and God’s view of business.

Heart image courtesy of Skitch

This may not be an encouraging title for a Valentine’s Day post, but unfortunately this is a common query people use to come to the blog. Love is made to be lasting, and while your love may still be on, at times the person of our affection stops returning our love. How can we move on?

We were created for love, and for some for some that is a wonderful encouragement. It gives you hope for a satisfying and lasting love with another. For others the idea of love is filled with a painful mixture of a few happy moments and powerfully hurtful ones. While the other person has seemingly moved on, you are stuck with some strange connection to this person who has called you so much pain. You only hope is the cry, “God, please remove them from my heart.”

Listen to God’s words to you. That person was never supposed to fill your needs for love. I am the One who created you for love so that I may be the One who would satisfy your longings. Come to Me. My arms are open to receive you. Lay your head on My chest and pour out your heart. Tears open you up for the healing. Cry for the disappointment and loss, but not for despair for I give you hope. Freedom is coming. My love is on.

Freedom is found similarly to forgiveness. Here are some simple steps to help you find your freedom.

1. Confess how you have placed too much of your heart on the other person. Confess how you have trusted them over God.
2. Thank God for His forgiveness. It is already there for you. Receive it through giving thanks.

image courtesy of Adam Jones

The book of Genesis tells of two drastically different men: one who had to work hard to get anything he wanted; the other seemed to have things fall into his lap. It is interesting that the former was father of the latter. More interestingly, how do we become like the latter?

These two men were Jacob and Joseph. Jacob is well known as being a striver. He connives his brother out of his birthright and cons hims out of his blessing. He runs away for fear of him and then gets conned into working 14 years for Rachel. The tragedy of Jacob’s life is more than the difficulties that arise, you get the impression from Jacob that he feels alone in the world. Even when he left working for his father-in-law, he leaves under deception.

Joseph, on the other hand, had much greater difficulties arise against him. The tragedy that befalls Joseph may make some balk at my earlier statement of having things fall into his lap. However, no matter what hardships arose, Joseph met each of them with success.

What I noticed about these two men that was significantly different was the way that each of them was raised. Jacob was raised by Isaac who favored Esau over him. Joseph was raised by Jacob who favored him above each of his 11 brothers. Joseph knew the love of his father, which brought special attention, favors, and gifts. Jacob felt overlooked by his father and had to trick him to get attention, favors, and gifts.

image courtesy of Passion

Anyone can have faith when things are going well. The Christian community has just finished all of their Christmas/Winter/New Year conferences where thousands of believers joined together to worship and encourage one another. Hope was distilled and people send home flying high what God can do through them. Now many are back home and are struggling how to put feet to the declarations they made just a few days ago.

Life gets tough. Your past will try to pull you back into your former lifestyle. None of this discounts conferences because they can be wonderful life-changing experiences. However, how do you remember what God has taught you later when you need it? How can you remember that excitement for the Lord in your everyday life? Even more, how do you remind yourself of God’s goodness when you are really struggling?

The best answer is relationships! You were not created to be alone. You were not even created to only you and Jesus. You need the body. Adam had the perfect setup-he got to stroll the garden walking with God. Even so, God said it wasn’t good for him not to have another human around. You need people.

David when he was running away from Saul got severely depressed. You can read some of the Psalms and see his struggles. On one particular occasion, Jonathon went and found him to help David find his strength in the Lord. he reminded David of the promises of God toward him, and he reminded David of his own commitment to David (1 Samuel 23:15-18).

You need people in your life that will keep pointing out to you what God thinks of you and will keep affirming their commitment to you. Let us continue to encourage each other daily (Hebrew 10:24-25). Speak life in each other.

image courtesy of Urban Outfitters

My birthday and Christmas have always been hard times for me. Even as a kid I would approach these days with excitement only to feel overwhelmed with sadness on those days. This year on my birthday was no different; I had some fun plans made and my wife and kids who were excited to celebrate with me. Still one thing didn’t go as planned and I had a hard time bouncing back. What is it about these days that make it so hard for me?

Many people have noticed this phenomenon called holiday depression, and while I have seen some good advice to how to cope, there was not much on why it exists other than the stress of the season. Although I do believe that can play into it, I don’t believe that has been what I have experienced. And without knowing why you’re feeling down, you will have a hard time coming out of it.

For me, the issue lies in that I think this time of year will validate me somehow. During this time of thinking of others, someone will think about me in such a way that I will feel significant and valued. It is reminiscent of Charlie Brown hoping to get a Valentine’s Day card. He spends all year thinking nobody likes him, and on Valentine’s Day he thinks that it will all change by receiving a card from the little red haired girl.

Do I spend all year thinking that I am unimportant and have little value? As a kid I definitely felt this way. I’ve gotten better, but there is still times this feels true. I struggle with feeling like I don’t belong. Christmas is a time for family, which validates your belonging. Here are some questions to help you get to the root of your Christmas depression:

“I am powerful, and what I believe changes the world!
So today I declare:
God is in a good mood.
He loves me all the time.
Nothing can separate me from His love.
Jesus’ blood paid for everything
I will tell nations of what He has done.
I am important.
How He made me is amazing.
I was designed for worship.
My mouth establishes praise to silence the enemy.
Everywhere I go becomes a perfect health zone.
And… with God
Nothing is impossible!”

Throughout the centuries the Church has been practicing corporate readings as a part of worship. Nowadays apart from corporate singing, this practice has waned.  Recenlty I found that my daughter has been reciting the above creed during her children’s church, and I couldn’t be happier. She is being trained to believe things about herself and God that is opposite to what I believed about myself as I grew up.

I grew up without much direction into who I was. I remember words that I was embarrassment and that I never do anything helpful. There were also circumstances that I didn’t know how to interpret, which spoke words that I was messed up, that I was unimportant, and that I was a burden. O, how imporant are the words that we say of ourselves. (My parents were not bad. I’ve made some poor choices in my words to my kids as well. The point is that words are powerful.)

God spoke creation into being. And having been made in His image our words create new realities. If we speak words that are in agreement with our enemy, then we create greater bondages for ourselves. I still have to work at releasing myself to enjoy things for fear that I may be an embarrassment to someone. I know successful people that are still trying to overcome statements of being stupid or being a failure. Our words create our realities.