prayer coach

Every Christian seems to have their technique for keeping from sin. We have to—if we are trying to follow God, we will be aware of our sin. It must be dealt with.

The Easter season makes this more prevalent because of the so many participating in the tradition of fasting things for Lent. This is wonderful tradition to prepare us for the Easter celebration.

Some of the tools Christians use for motivation not to sin are the following:

• Accountability: If I sin, I’ll have to tell someone what I have done.
• Consequences: If I sin, I’ll do something. This may be 100 pushups, give someone money to pay “the fine,” run an extra mile, etc.
• Think It Over: If I sin, I’ll go contemplate how bad that decision was, how it made God feel, and how bad I feel afterwards.
• Guilt: If I sin, I’ll sit in guilt.
• Shame: If I sin, I’ll beat myself up. Sin is bad, and if I sin I must be bad.
• Ignore It: If I sin, I’ll quickly move on. That’s not who I am. Plus, I am forgiven already.
• Sense of Value: I am too good to sin.

I have heard each of these options from preachers over the years, and not all of them are bad ideas. Very rarely have I heard how God motivates us not to sin.

God’s main motivation is love. It’s His kindness that leads us to repentance (Romans 2:4). Jesus said if you love me, you will do what I have commanded (John 14:15). Find out what pleases the Lord and have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of the flesh (Ephesians 5:1-13). We are not to beat ourselves up over our sins. We are not even to focus on how bad it makes God feel when we sin. Sin has been dealt with. Our motivation for not sinning is an expression of love to the One who loves us. When Jesus comes to Peter after his denial, Jesus gets Peter to focus on his love. “Do you love me?”  (John 21:15-17)

image courtesy of The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

I have been reading Prince Caspian to my daughter and came away with a beautiful analogy on the fear of God. The fear of God has always been a tough concept for me to comprehend. How does fear and love coincide?

Like many I was taught that the fear discussed in the Bible referred more to an awe of God. While this helped ease my tensions about God’s love, I still had a hard time believing that was all it meant. Whenever people encountered the Lord, they always fell face down to the ground (Joshua 5:14, Ezekiel 1:28, Matthew 17:5-7, John 1:17). Gideon fear his life because he only recognized he encountered the Lord afterwards and had looked on the Lord face to face (Judges 6:22).

The image in Prince Caspian comes right after the children had made a long detour trying to get to Caspian. There is a small hint of this in the movie, but the book brings it out in more detail. Lucy had seen Aslan before the detour, but could not convince the others to believe her. In the end they made a long trek in the wrong direction.

When the children started back in the right direction, Lucy sees Aslan again. As they talk we find out that Aslan had wanted her to follow him even if the others had not. Lucy had feared the opinions of her siblings over what Aslan wanted her to do.

Here is the definition for the fear of God: to care more about what God thinks than anyone else.

The fear comes in the disappointment of hurting the one you love so much. Susan expressing this when she admits that Lucy had been right about Aslan. She said she could have had believe Lucy from the beginning but she listened to her fears. As she apologized to Lucy, she expressed anxiety of what she would say to Aslan.

Heart image courtesy of Skitch

This may not be an encouraging title for a Valentine’s Day post, but unfortunately this is a common query people use to come to the blog. Love is made to be lasting, and while your love may still be on, at times the person of our affection stops returning our love. How can we move on?

We were created for love, and for some for some that is a wonderful encouragement. It gives you hope for a satisfying and lasting love with another. For others the idea of love is filled with a painful mixture of a few happy moments and powerfully hurtful ones. While the other person has seemingly moved on, you are stuck with some strange connection to this person who has called you so much pain. You only hope is the cry, “God, please remove them from my heart.”

Listen to God’s words to you. That person was never supposed to fill your needs for love. I am the One who created you for love so that I may be the One who would satisfy your longings. Come to Me. My arms are open to receive you. Lay your head on My chest and pour out your heart. Tears open you up for the healing. Cry for the disappointment and loss, but not for despair for I give you hope. Freedom is coming. My love is on.

Freedom is found similarly to forgiveness. Here are some simple steps to help you find your freedom.

1. Confess how you have placed too much of your heart on the other person. Confess how you have trusted them over God.
2. Thank God for His forgiveness. It is already there for you. Receive it through giving thanks.

image courtesy of interrobang

How long do you have to confess and feel the guilt of your sin before you feel accepted? We all know this feeling of uncleanliness before the Lord. It’s that “yuck” feeling that’s a mixture of shame and disgust. We instinctively feel that we need to get ourselves right before we can go to God in prayer. Is this from God? If it is, when are we ready to appear before Him?

I was thinking this the other day in regards to the way approach sharing our faith. Too much of it comes across as stop sinning so that God can love you. It’s like God’s holiness keeps his affection for us in check. As if is in heaven God saying if I can just clean this person up there is someone in there I can love.

Sin still has a powerful effect in the world, but we have mis-applied where the issue belongs. When we sin it makes us feel separated from God because we no longer live up to His holiness. Our separation causes us to either hide our mess or ourselves from God. Although we may feel this way, when we sin God does not see it on those of us hidden in Christ. The wages of that sin has been paid.

Allow people to come to Jesus. The cross is more than sufficient for anything they bring with them. He knows if they are sleeping around, stealing from their company, or looking at porn. That doesn’t stop Him from loving them.

As parents we send our kids to their room when they’re bad because we believe that sin requires separation. That is not true. Sin causes separation. Our kids feel it when they are aware of doing something wrong. They hide. They look down. The become unsure. Our goal as parents is to bring them back into fellowship. Our goal in witnessing is to bring people back into fellowship with God.

Most of us if we are honest with ourselves, know that we are lacking in love. We may have the ability to love those who love us, but somewhere between that and our enemies we falter. This is not to discourage us, but just to show us we need supernatural help to fulfill what God has asked of us. We need God’s assistance to be able to love.

How do we pray for love?

The first thing to remember is that we love because God first loved us (1 John 4:19). Any trouble we have in loving is directly tied to a lack of experience with God’s love for us.

• God open my heart to receive more love from you. Make me aware of what may be blocking my ability to receive from you.

The second thing to help you is to know that fear is the opposite of love (1 John 4:18). Your inability to love is directly related to an area of fear in your life. Are you afraid that person will hurt you, take too much of your time, or make you be someone you are not? Or, are you afraid that God will not take care of you?

In my last post in What to Pray to Find the Right Spouse, I mentioned that there were two ways to get the perfect spouse: find the right person and allow them to become the right person. This post will tackle the second option.

When I got engaged, I loved my wife as best as I knew, but as I look back I think the major motivation was to find someone who made me feel loved. I had a deep hole and I latched on to the person that made even a small effort to fill it. I can see now how I set myself up for major issues in marriage, therefore I am constantly encouraged by the wife God did give me.

However, there have been several things I had done right after the wedding vows. Early on in our marriage we started the habit of praying together every night before going to bed. I also prayed on my own for our marriage, specifically that our marriage would reflect Christ’s love for His Church. We attended marriage conferences and read marriage books to give priority to getting all that God had for us out of our marriage. Therefore while my motives may not have been pure going in, we developed our marriage well. Here are some areas for your to consider as you develop your own marriage.

7 Ways to Develop a Perfect Spouse

1. Prayer

Spending time with God with your spouse and alone is the greatest thing you can do for your marriage. God delights in your marriage and offers help to make sure you experience every blessing He has hidden there. Commit your marriage to God.

Saturday as I was checking online for the scores of my college team, crying came from the other room. My wife was using this “play by yourself” time to catch up on some needed work. I was first to respond to the scene. Our youngest was under the covers of our bed crying with our oldest sitting over her saying she was sorry. Time to open the investigation.

It turned out that the oldest wanted the youngest to do something. When she couldn’t do it, the oldest bit her twice.

Naturally concern and attention went to the youngest. Hold her. Comfort her. Make her feel safe.

Once she settled down, I dropped her off with mom for some extra attention and turned my attention toward the oldest. What am I to do? They are sisters. I can’t permanently remove them from each other. I love them both. Sure I will discipline the oldest, but I also don’t want to crush her spirit.

Can you imagine this is what God does day in and day out. He has a huge heart of love for each person—those that are mean and do evil things and those that have evil things done to them. He is able to go to the child who has been molested to give comfort healing and peace. He is also just as able to go to the child molester and calmed their storm and give forgiveness. Somehow while maintaining justice, God can love the one without hating the other.

Corrie ten Boom was a victim of the evil concentration camps in Nazi Germany. After the war, she was in a church in Munich telling the story of the forgiving God. At the end of her sermon, a guard from her concentration camp came forward. Recognizing him, fear and pain once again gripped her heart. He introduced himself and asked to hear her say she forgave him.

A couple weeks ago I reviewed A Blessed Child by Ted Dekker and Bill Bright which was a fictional story about a pure vessel of God working miracles. The novel put a story around Dr. Bright’s teaching on Living Supernaturally in Christ. The two men co-labored a follow up to that novel with A Man Called Blessed which turned its focus on Dr. Bright’s teaching on Recapturing our First Love.

A Man Called Blessed picks up Caleb fifteen years after he left the world’s stage. He had grown up and became familiar with God. His familiarity led him to acknowledgment of devotion but inwardly removed from God. God was about to reawaken out desires with him.

Rebecca was a Jew committed to find the ark of the covenant, the place where the presence of God dwelt. All information pointed to Caleb as the link to finding the ark and bringing it back to Israel. Rebecca does not come to Caleb along, but instead followed by a band of Muslims bent on keeping hidden any hint of a potential ark.

Dekker and Bright succeed again producing another inspiring, page-turning story. This story will re-engage you to live as a child before God. Fall in love again and believe.

Quotes from A Man Called Blessed:

• There is no greater disaster in a spiritual life than to be immersed in a false reality.
• There is no greater disaster than to think that what we see with these eyes is the real life.
• Desire does not come from the mind, but from the heart. The hope that burns under the ashes of our poverty.
• Poverty is about clearing space in your heart so that God can fill it.